In amongst my #LockdownClearout, I’ve uncovered repositories of photos and souvenirs from my better-travelled days. Well, any days were better-travelled than the current ones, but I’m referring more to the early stages of my career when I was installing telecoms systems in far-flung global networks in an age a) I was single and b) the world wasn’t possessed of broadband.
I had big ideas of nicely laid-out scrapbooks, but I think the best way to make progress is as blog posts. So here we go.
I went to China with work in Spring (I think) 1999, upgrading Equipment Identity Register systems in Shandong province – Jinan and Qingdao. I was the junior engineer to my colleague Neil. We passed through Beijing on our way in, and way out.
We visited Tienanmen Square, of course and the Great Wall, at the point closest to the city. I have no strong memories of Jinan other than we were there at the time that the US accidentally bombed the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade. We were told to pretend to be Australian if we were asked, in order to be non-NATO-aligned. Fortunately the issue didn’t come up, but we saw a lot of signs on the street, apparently in protest.
Qingdao was more enjoyable – seeing the German influence in the shape of the church, and of course, the brewery. Also, lots of Citroën ZX taxis on the streets.
Neil and I were accompanied by a lovely fellow, Edward, who was there as a local fixer. He was great, but on occasion Neil and I felt the need to loose the shackles of guardianship. Our adventures consisted of:
- At a lunch, choosing on something entirely at random from an all-Mandarin menu. When it arrived, it was leaves, a bit like raw spinach, with a bowl of strong plum sauce. Not a winner. Fortunately, Edward always ordered enough food for about 17 people, so we never went hungry, even if only 20% of the dishes were palatable.
- Going out for dinner on our own. We ended up falling back on getting in a taxi and miming the golden arches to go to McDonald’s. No pride there.
- Heading to a bar ourselves, which we could see from the hotel so it was low-risk. However, when we arrived, it was clear it was mainly a brothel. We did finish our drinks, but that was about it.
I remember trawling the silk market to buy a Chairman Mao lighter requested by my friend, and singing karaoke in a hotel bar (where I am pretty certain I gave the finest rendition of My Way the lucky clientèle had ever experienced). Oh, and at the end of the trip we blew Edward’s mind at the Hard Rock Café where we flirted outrageously (and successfully) with some SAS (I think) cabin crew. He had never seen such licentious behaviour (even though it was all pretty tame) and he loved it.
We took some internal flights, but for some reason we had a great long drive somewhere. I think this may have been the trip from Jinan to Confucius’ birthplace, where we ate all kinds of vegetarian food, including a remarkable fish made of tofu. Maybe it was there, or elsewhere, that one dish was deep fried tiny scorpions – just like crisps, spiky and not a bad taste. The guy from Ericsson whose agenda was always slightly mysterious tried to lure us up China’s highest peak, which was “on the way”, but we said no. So much of travelling is weighing up potential upside of marvellous discoveries, new friends, good times versus ballache, expense, fatigue and being effectively forced to spend time with people you’d sooner not because you don’t speak the language and you don’t entirely trust them.
I remember feeling a bit frustrated at one point that I couldn’t communicate very well, despite my smattering of a few languages, whereas Neil built a rapport with quite a few people due to speaking fluent football. I believe there was a Chinese player at Crystal Palace at the time, and saying players’ names from Manchester United etc while miming trademark moves breezed through sociolinguistic barriers like a hot chopstick through tofu.
Timsformational 